Avoidance & Procrastination: Why We Do It and What Can Help

We’ve all been there. That one task (or many) that are hanging over your head and you just can’t seem to get yourself to start. 

We all experience avoidance or procrastination at times and this tends to be even more evident in those experiencing depression and anxiety. 

In the short-term, when we avoid or put off an activity or task we are usually met with relief. “Phew! That’s a later me problem. I’ll do it when…”. It also takes low effort to decline or not engage in something that may be meaningful for us in the long-term. So many of us get caught in the waiting trap, thinking “I’ll do it when I feel…” (insert more motivated, feel better, I’m more prepared). The problem here is motivation is a feeling just like any other, it ebbs and flows. If we only count on motivation or other pleasant feelings to do things, we’re going to get caught out waiting for a long time.

A solution? Behavioral activation.

Nike really had something with the “Just Do It” slogan. This approach is about gradually engaging in meaningful activities even, and especially, when we don’t feel like it. It’s maybe not the answer you wanted to hear but here are some helpful strategies to get you started, as that’s often the hardest part:

• Set a timer for 5 minutes. 

Really. Tell yourself you’re going to do something you’ve been avoiding for 5 minutes. Maybe it’s tackling the pile of dishes, folding the laundry or going for a walk. Tell yourself you will do this task for 5 minutes and when the 5 minutes is up, re-evaluate. Maybe you feel like you can keep going. Great! That is sometimes the case. Maybe that 5 minutes felt like plenty. Also great! You overcame the avoidance and made more progress than not doing anything at all. This is really about the practice of getting yourself started and noticing how you feel after the action.

• Break down big tasks.

Think about a time when you had to write a paper or had some other daunting task where you didn’t even know where to start. This can lead to overwhelm and wanting to avoid even looking in the direction of said task. Instead, break it down into smaller, more achievable steps. Take doing taxes as an example. One small step can be to find your login information. The next can be gathering all the documents you need. Then updating any pertinent information and so on until the big task itself is completed.

• Plan it out.

Ever had a meeting scheduled that you absolutely dreaded for work? If so, what happened? Most of the time, you probably still showed up for it because it’s part of your job.

Well, it’s also your job to show up for yourself. Schedule in when you will do a certain activity and stick to it like you would with plans for work, friends or other things that are important to you. Write it in your calendar or block out the time and stick to that commitment to yourself. By putting it in your calendar, it helps to increase your commitment to that activity because you’ve already planned and set aside that time. Accountability buddies can be helpful here, too!

• Consider why said task is important to you.

Not everything we do in life is going to provide us meaning-some are just things we “have” to do for one reason or another. But maybe you can still find some importance there. Is it a value of yours to be responsible? Can you see a burdensome task as something on the path of taking care of your family? It can be helpful to find meaning in why we’re doing the things we’re doing. 

Exercise is another great example that many of us struggle to get engaged in. Consider why you set the goal to exercise in the first place. I recommend going deeper than wanting to look a certain way or because your doctor told you to. What is it about exercise that can provide value and meaning to your life? Can you approach it as a challenge you want to overcome? Do you want to be around for a long time for your kids and grandkids? Could this be a way to honor your value of commitment or a compassionate way to take care of yourself? When we look at the deeper purpose and meaning in a task, it becomes less of a to-do to check off and more of a way to create a rich and fulfilling life for yourself.